Sunday, May 27, 2007

My plumbing is everyone's concern

There are certain items that cause consternation and embarassment by the simple act of their purchase. Condoms, for example. Even if you're an ultrasound technician and have an excellent reason to be buying the 100 count value pack, it will ignite unwanted commentary or stares from your fellow shopgoers. Hemorrhoid creme - I understand it works wonders on bags under your eyes, but be assured that, regardless, the sales clerk will be watching your derriere as you walk away and wonder.

There are others, of course. My tale revolves around a relatively innocuous item, the common household plunger.

I came home and discovered that my toilet lacked it's characteristic "oomph." Normally, this would be handled with minimum fuss by a phone call to the front office, but it is Memorial Day weekend. I'm sure someone would answer a distress call, but it seemed like overkill to ruin someone's Sunday, and I decided to take matters into my own hands.

5 minutes later, and I'm searching the CVS pharmacy downstairs for a plunger. Ah, there it was, the standard wooden handle/plain rubber savior of drains. I tested several, looking for one with the correct balance required for the upcoming task. As I made my choice, I heard the first comment: "Ooh, having problems?" A swift backwards glance showed a gentleman with a tube of toothpaste, shaking his head knowingly. I nodded, smiled, and began to make my way to the counter. 2nd comment from 2nd casual observer: "Need some help with your plumbing?" A pleasant decline of proffered services from myself. Almost to the counter, 3rd comment, 3rd guy: "Gave it more than it could handle, huh?" At this point, I began to feel heat rising to my cheeks, and I told a ridiculous partial lie "My brother's visiting, happens everytime." The first part is completely false, although he does cause problems in the bathroom on a regular basis. Yes, the pressure was getting to me.

Finally, the counter. I hand over my purchase, and the sales clerk raises his eyebrows at it. I swiftly swipe my card and wait for him to hand it back to me. He returns it, stating "Afraid I don't have a bag big enough for a plunger." Snickering from behind me. I grab it, and run.

Next time, I'm looking on Amazon.com.

Random link of the day: Nerd Type Quiz, my result below.

What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Literature Nerd

Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works.

It's okay. I understand.

Science/Math Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Social Nerd
Musician
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type?

1 comment:

Jesse said...

Absolutely hysterical. My office mates had to ask me if I was 'okay' when I got to the "Gave it more than it could handle" comment.

Bravo. I knew it'd be good.