I'm kinda-sorta dating someone right now. Super nice guy, who actually stuck around after I went on a couple of dates with him, then gave him a hug and said, "Hey, let's be friends!" That was... 6 months ago? At the time, he stared at me for a second, and said, "Yeah, sure, that was totally what I was going to suggest myself." And he kept being my friend. So, he's been very patient with my skittish behavior, so I'm trying to let myself relax enough to just have fun.
But, you know, I hate giving him dibs on my time.
For example: He asks me if I want to go out Thursday. I evade it by telling him I have plans. The truth? NO PLANS. I just don't want to say yes.
Yet, one of my friends calls me, and even though I'm scheduled for a dentist appointment/ appendectomy/ disarming a nuclear warhead/ etc., I will say "Sure! See you then."
Maybe not all my friends, but you know who you are if you're reading this. I don't know what's wrong with me. Do I not like him? No, I do, actually. At the very least as a good friend, the rest I'm trying to sort out. So what's up?
The best I can figure at the moment is a combination of the following:
- Commitment phobia, plain and simple.
- Planning ahead just goes against my core nature of chaos.
- I don't like him enough.
- I'm afraid that the more time alone we spend together, the more he will realize that, yes, I'm kind of crazy.
- Very likely, when that time rolls around, all I'll want to do is lay on my couch with a good book. I really like my couch.
Hmm. What do you guys think?
3 comments:
Everyone needs some time to themselves, dude.
I also do not really like being pinned down on plans for a particular day. It's probably got less to do with the guy and more to do with you.
But I doubt there's anything wrong with you or the situation. You just don't feel like making plans because you don't like making plans.
No big deal. Have fun with the guy when/if you feel like it and until the idea that "things need to get more serious" comes up from either of you, just roll with it.
Jesse, you rock. We still need to come up with a feasible time for us to join forces with the crew for Chicago: Part II.
I think I'm going to have to differ with Bond here. Wait no, actually I mostly agree with everything he wrote.
That said, I think you don't like the boy "enough" - at least not enough to date - or at least not yet. I generally associate that kind of like with the whole caution to the wind thing. Not that you can't still hang out with him if you think you can manage without giving mixed signals.
Okay now I am going to disagree with Bond and maybe myself from above: you don't feel like making plans with this guy in particular. Or even being completely forward with him about that. Because you're not that interested in him (although you may be trying to talk yourself into it) and you're worried about giving him false signals that you are but also want to keep him as just a friend. That's fairly telling, I think.
DISCLAIMER: This is merely my impression from the limited bit your wrote. Also, I am very frequently wrong about many things.
Post a Comment