Playing to the crowd

There are a lot of things that I can think of that would cause embarassment. Some I've actually experienced, and some are merely the products of thinking too much about this subject.

1. Skinny dipping in a presumed isolated area, and finding out it isn't.
2. Laughing so hard that you start to snort in public.
3. Finding out 2 hours after dinner that you've had part of it stuck in your teeth.
4. Doing a horrible rendition of a famous song in an elevator, only to have it open to a large crowd of people who heard a good portion of it.
5. Trying out for American Idol.

Ah, there's so many more. And what am I doing this weekend? That's right, #5.

Let me go back a couple of years, when my niece/goddaughter asked me if I would try out for AI. I laughed and said, "Sure, if they ever come to Dallas."

Damn it.

So, the AI machine is currently here, waiting to chew up thousands of dreams of young fools. And there I am with them at 5 AM on a Saturday, when all I really want is a cup of coffee. The whole experience of registration day felt remarkably like a slaughterhouse, complete with a chute full of vacant eyed hapless creatures awaiting the doom that would befall them. After 3 hours of shuffling, I was outfitted with a paper wristband with strict instructions not to remove it and return by 5 AM on Monday for the actual audition.

So, looking on the bright side, my attending likes American Idol and is giving me Monday off because she thinks this is hilarious. The down side is that my day would probably be a lot shorter at work. Also, I don't know what to sing. I'm debating something far off the beaten path, maybe something by Magnetic Fields, Cat Stevens, Liz Phair, or maybe even Joan Baez. Ultimately it won't make too much difference, as I expect a rapid elimination. I'll let you know how it goes come Monday.