And a happy 32nd birthday, Mel, you bastard, off skiing or whatever it is you do in Albuquerque. Love ya!
Monday, February 22, 2010
What's my age again?
I'm not exactly clear why, but I keep thinking I'm 30 this year. Perhaps it's a self-inflicted delusion to encourage action and change. Perhaps.
Maybe it's just me thinking "I'm too old for this shit."
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
What hurts the most is not hurting at all
Angel Alberto Gulden Reyes. My maternal grandfather, and a man I never met. A man whose name I have forgotten many times. A man I never once talked to, who never expressed any interest in this branch of his family tree.
Today I learned that he passed away on November 14. He was 95.
May he rest in peace. I wish I could cry for him, or even feel the loss more than I do. I know that he had another life that began shortly after he divorced my grandmother not long after my mother was born. I hope they are able to mourn him where I can't.
The most I can say is thank you for being my ancestor. My family wouldn't exist if he hadn't walked this earth. So, thank you.
Gracias, Abuelo.
Today I learned that he passed away on November 14. He was 95.
May he rest in peace. I wish I could cry for him, or even feel the loss more than I do. I know that he had another life that began shortly after he divorced my grandmother not long after my mother was born. I hope they are able to mourn him where I can't.
The most I can say is thank you for being my ancestor. My family wouldn't exist if he hadn't walked this earth. So, thank you.
Gracias, Abuelo.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Be still, stop chattering
I feel like the past week has been spent fairly well overall. Most often the end of my days off either feels like it came far too soon or, sometimes, like it dragged on to eternity. No, there was just the right amount of activity and idle time. Books were read. Movies were watched. Laughs were had. Terrorists were foiled.
A good week.
Not perfect. There are bitter drops in the cup, not much to be done about some of them. Others, however, will just take some ballsiness to get out of bad situations and into a better place. Kind of hard, though, until I find out some other information to know exactly what kind of leverage I'll have. Even if it's not what I'm hoping for, though, change for the better is possibe. We'll see.
Looking to the near future, the fair's in town, Ingrid Michaelson is playing Tuesday, the fall kickball season is underway, and it's a beautiful day outside.
Random link of the week: Love coffee? Do did Bach.
A good week.
Not perfect. There are bitter drops in the cup, not much to be done about some of them. Others, however, will just take some ballsiness to get out of bad situations and into a better place. Kind of hard, though, until I find out some other information to know exactly what kind of leverage I'll have. Even if it's not what I'm hoping for, though, change for the better is possibe. We'll see.
Looking to the near future, the fair's in town, Ingrid Michaelson is playing Tuesday, the fall kickball season is underway, and it's a beautiful day outside.
Random link of the week: Love coffee? Do did Bach.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Rolling down the highway
There are days and times when I feel about as useful and wanted as a solitary left shoe seen on the shoulder of a road. Where the hell do those even come from? They're even sadder than when you see a pair of shoes slung over a telephone wire - at least those have their mate with them.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Every little thing is gonna be alright
So things on Tuesday probably didn't go as well as they should have. I'll know in 8 weeks or so. But at least I had some good laughs both before and after, as well as one more kickball victory for the record.
Hormones suck. To quote a line by Seth Rogen, "Fuck you, hormones!" Poor planning sucks. Cheap shots suck, too.
Been angry/frustrated/blue since Thursday with breaks in the funk thanks to getting out of my head (at least temporarily) secondary to the acknowledgement that other people's problems are worse than mine and they could use funkless friends. Advantage? Every step out made the funk, while still present, more manageable. Seriously hoping that the depression I usually get hit with during my night week doesn't drive the levels back up. Currently drawing on a good store of positivity built up since Saturday and stockpiled over the course of today, so keeping my fingers crossed.
Have absolutely adorable nieces and nephews. Thank you.
Have good, good people in my life. Thank you.
Have come a long way as far as personal issues, even if there's a long way to go. Thank you.
Hormones suck. To quote a line by Seth Rogen, "Fuck you, hormones!" Poor planning sucks. Cheap shots suck, too.
Been angry/frustrated/blue since Thursday with breaks in the funk thanks to getting out of my head (at least temporarily) secondary to the acknowledgement that other people's problems are worse than mine and they could use funkless friends. Advantage? Every step out made the funk, while still present, more manageable. Seriously hoping that the depression I usually get hit with during my night week doesn't drive the levels back up. Currently drawing on a good store of positivity built up since Saturday and stockpiled over the course of today, so keeping my fingers crossed.
Have absolutely adorable nieces and nephews. Thank you.
Have good, good people in my life. Thank you.
Have come a long way as far as personal issues, even if there's a long way to go. Thank you.
Monday, August 10, 2009
...
Kill me. Please.
Or, if that's not an option, tell me that everything is gonna be alright. I leave it to your discretion if you sing it to me Bob Marley style.
Oh, look! Youtube is doing it for me.
Or, if that's not an option, tell me that everything is gonna be alright. I leave it to your discretion if you sing it to me Bob Marley style.
Oh, look! Youtube is doing it for me.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Random topics
Earlier this evening, I was chatting on the phone with Angel. Got updates on the new home situation, and shot the breeze for a good while.
We somehow can't ever have a truly serious conversation, though. Inevitably, we start to giggle like lunatics over... I dunno, anything, really. I believe tonight we started on the topic of feral vs. domesticated nerds.
Yeah, you heard me. We started delineating traits seen in nerds in their wild state and how, depending on the amount of socialization they receive, they can adapt to normal day-to-day interactions with others. She worked with several here in Dallas who were still feral, the ones who had trouble with mandatory "fun" days because it involved talking to people, the ones who maybe haven't discovered soap and showers.
We laughed for a long, long time.
We somehow can't ever have a truly serious conversation, though. Inevitably, we start to giggle like lunatics over... I dunno, anything, really. I believe tonight we started on the topic of feral vs. domesticated nerds.
Yeah, you heard me. We started delineating traits seen in nerds in their wild state and how, depending on the amount of socialization they receive, they can adapt to normal day-to-day interactions with others. She worked with several here in Dallas who were still feral, the ones who had trouble with mandatory "fun" days because it involved talking to people, the ones who maybe haven't discovered soap and showers.
We laughed for a long, long time.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sink or Swim
It's wonderful to have time off. Granted, my sleep cycle hasn't fully recovered to it's baseline, but it's much better than the last post-night stretch from a couple of months ago. Suspecting that sticking to a daily exercise routine is helping a bit, although an overlong nap today has left me more wakeful than desired.
Studying? Been less successful in that area, with probably an hour at best since Monday. A plan is in place for tomorrow, however, and anticipating some productivity in that department. For the most part, been doing a musical immersion for the past few days. Not bad, but would be ideal to combine the 2, if possible.
Been a bit pensive on various matters over the past day or so. Not bad pensive, not "I suck" pensive, but been doing some hard thinking. Some conclusions have been unpleasant, but overall feeling like it should net good. Will see.
Currently, feeling very bummed that one of my friends is moving (albeit temporarily) to Cincinnati. She's someone you can almost guarantee will sing along with anything you toss out, be it at a restaurant, in the car, or even in a movie theater. Really. Not to mention the crazy giddy laughing that usually takes place whenever we go out, no alcohol needed. Angel, what are we going to do without you? Cincinnati better treat you right.
Studying? Been less successful in that area, with probably an hour at best since Monday. A plan is in place for tomorrow, however, and anticipating some productivity in that department. For the most part, been doing a musical immersion for the past few days. Not bad, but would be ideal to combine the 2, if possible.
Been a bit pensive on various matters over the past day or so. Not bad pensive, not "I suck" pensive, but been doing some hard thinking. Some conclusions have been unpleasant, but overall feeling like it should net good. Will see.
Currently, feeling very bummed that one of my friends is moving (albeit temporarily) to Cincinnati. She's someone you can almost guarantee will sing along with anything you toss out, be it at a restaurant, in the car, or even in a movie theater. Really. Not to mention the crazy giddy laughing that usually takes place whenever we go out, no alcohol needed. Angel, what are we going to do without you? Cincinnati better treat you right.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Flowers by the road
Night call weeks put me in a foul mood. I hate working 7 nights in a row. I hate feeling isolated from my daily pursuits. I hate feeling tired everyday. I hate feeling so hateful. It hasn't helped that I've felt like a black cloud has followed me around at work since Monday.
Enter one very nice lady (VNL).
Thanks to a couple of boluses of patients which included a couple of very sick ones, last night found me scurrying from floor to floor trying to locate patients. I finally tracked down VNL shortly after her arrival from the ER. Pleasantries were exchanged, history and physical taken.
Somehow, it turned out to be a much longer encounter than originally planned. See, VNL is 70 years old and looks more like a handsome 50. Raised Catholic, she made the hard decision to divorce her husband because she realized their worlds were out of sync and there was no other solution. The decision was made even harder since she had 3 children (8 months to 6 years) and not a lot of support from her church or most of her family. She has remained friends with her ex-husband all these years, as she is the first to say that he's a good man, just not for her.
Her life story reflects a character that is optimistic, practical, and full of faith. She is a survivor of ovarian cancer. She is a woman with a good sense of humor. She is a woman who has read hundreds of books and remembers them like friends. She loves good meals, but has learned how to temper her diet for her health as well. Even in pain, she is able to laugh. She moved to the area to help her stepson's family, as their young son was born prematurely and needs lots of extra love.
We talked about the importance of setting boundaries in your life, and the importance of telling the people you love that, well, you love them. We ruminated on how the smallest things we do can make huge impacts, for better or worse, on the people around us. We discussed how something as simple as a genuine smile can shed warmth in our lives and day-to-day adventures.
Walking out of her room, I didn't feel so hateful anymore. My smile stopped feeling forced, and I was able to move onto my last patient of the evening without wincing. Thank you, VNL. You'll never read this, but thanks.
Enter one very nice lady (VNL).
Thanks to a couple of boluses of patients which included a couple of very sick ones, last night found me scurrying from floor to floor trying to locate patients. I finally tracked down VNL shortly after her arrival from the ER. Pleasantries were exchanged, history and physical taken.
Somehow, it turned out to be a much longer encounter than originally planned. See, VNL is 70 years old and looks more like a handsome 50. Raised Catholic, she made the hard decision to divorce her husband because she realized their worlds were out of sync and there was no other solution. The decision was made even harder since she had 3 children (8 months to 6 years) and not a lot of support from her church or most of her family. She has remained friends with her ex-husband all these years, as she is the first to say that he's a good man, just not for her.
Her life story reflects a character that is optimistic, practical, and full of faith. She is a survivor of ovarian cancer. She is a woman with a good sense of humor. She is a woman who has read hundreds of books and remembers them like friends. She loves good meals, but has learned how to temper her diet for her health as well. Even in pain, she is able to laugh. She moved to the area to help her stepson's family, as their young son was born prematurely and needs lots of extra love.
We talked about the importance of setting boundaries in your life, and the importance of telling the people you love that, well, you love them. We ruminated on how the smallest things we do can make huge impacts, for better or worse, on the people around us. We discussed how something as simple as a genuine smile can shed warmth in our lives and day-to-day adventures.
Walking out of her room, I didn't feel so hateful anymore. My smile stopped feeling forced, and I was able to move onto my last patient of the evening without wincing. Thank you, VNL. You'll never read this, but thanks.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Hey Love, how've you been?
I don't know whether life has a great romantic love in store for me, but you know what it has given me? Plenty of love in many other forms. I woke up today feeling a major rush of it that left me feeling like I could get run through the worst the world has to offer and I would still be able to keep going with a smile.
It was a moment of invincibility, immunity from hurt, all from the strength of love. Not sure where it came from, but I'm not going to question it.
It was a moment of invincibility, immunity from hurt, all from the strength of love. Not sure where it came from, but I'm not going to question it.
Monday, June 8, 2009
"I don't think we should be friends anymore."
Let me just say this now, so I can move on.
FUCK!!!! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!!!!!!!
For having such a great start to a day, what the hell?! I got pissed off, behaved like an ass, and managed to ruin my day thanks to an irrational burst of temper and what was essentially a tantrum. And I can't even lay blame on PMS, or really anything. All me.
6 miles of miserable heat helped sweat off any remaining rage and gave me the necessary time to think about it all and feel increasingly ashamed of myself. 3 hours later, and a friendship was formally dissolved. For the best? I hope so, and I think so.
FUCK!!!! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!!!!!!!
For having such a great start to a day, what the hell?! I got pissed off, behaved like an ass, and managed to ruin my day thanks to an irrational burst of temper and what was essentially a tantrum. And I can't even lay blame on PMS, or really anything. All me.
6 miles of miserable heat helped sweat off any remaining rage and gave me the necessary time to think about it all and feel increasingly ashamed of myself. 3 hours later, and a friendship was formally dissolved. For the best? I hope so, and I think so.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Just Listen
I meant to write a deep, meaningful blog. Instead, I decided that youtube was missing something important, so I did a very hasty assembly job to get it there. Enjoy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My gift is my song, and this one's for you
As wrong as my life feels sometimes, all I have to do is look a bit outside myself and I find so many reasons to have faith that true beauty exists in our world. When some of those moments/events/occurrences and how they came to be are examined, I can see where, maybe, there is a purpose for being here. And the more you sit back and examine the past few years, it becomes evident that even the worst episodes lead you to take leaps of faith that land you exactly where you needed to be.
After all, how did I end up sitting in my apartment this morning listening to the latest BTE album? Ultimately, the first major event was probably the closure of my original residency in Fort Worth. But several other, smaller key events took place around the same time. After all, had I stayed in family medicine, everything would have been shifted differently, and Fort Worth may have remained my site of education. However, mere days before that fateful meeting where we found out, no, things are not okay and we don't have jobs for you, have a nice day, I had made the final decision to go into internal medicine. Thanks to the conversations I had in later days with friends and peers, I took a chance and interviewed in Dallas. That day, I walked into what would end up being my new home for the following 3 years, and also happened to meet some of the women who would end up becoming friends. I walked away from that interview after saying thank you, let me consider, and called back 8 minutes later while still on the road to say, "Actually, sign me up right now, if you're serious about having me."
Further events (which included a very nasty wreck 1/2005), led to moving out of Arlington and into my own apartment in 4/2005.
I was introduced to BTE shortly after arriving to my new residency, and went to my first concert in 2005 in good company.
Which is a small part of how my current position (see above) came to be. However, other current events that got my mind going this AM are also part of a longer road.
Karaoke, something which I'd often been curious about but never tried, happened for the first time in a dive called the Maple Point, again in good company. A love for it took seed, but the smoky atmosphere leads something to be desired, and return visits are infrequent. Thanks to a habit of singing in the halls of the hospital, a reputation/impression is formed by many within its walls, and several mentions of an Irish pub called the Tipperary Inn are made, particularly it's Monday night karaoke. Duly noted, but no action is taken for many months. An introduction to the Tipperary Inn takes place sometime in 2005 under the influence of some hastily consumed Irish car bombs (not a karaoke night), and a few sporadic visits occur over the following year. It isn't until 2007, however, that Monday night karaoke becomes a fairly good place to look for me on any given week, often in good company.
In 2008, we met our future kickball captain on a Monday night that he came in to get a T-shirt from his bartending friend. Thanks to a remote resemblance to his celebrity crush, he makes conversation with me (again, in good company). Later that year, he takes command of the Tipp's team, and we are invited to take part.
So is there a point? Yes. Today's screw ups and actions can have amazing results years afterward. Also, just because we aren't privy to the game plan doesn't mean there isn't one. I have faith in that game plan.
After all, how did I end up sitting in my apartment this morning listening to the latest BTE album? Ultimately, the first major event was probably the closure of my original residency in Fort Worth. But several other, smaller key events took place around the same time. After all, had I stayed in family medicine, everything would have been shifted differently, and Fort Worth may have remained my site of education. However, mere days before that fateful meeting where we found out, no, things are not okay and we don't have jobs for you, have a nice day, I had made the final decision to go into internal medicine. Thanks to the conversations I had in later days with friends and peers, I took a chance and interviewed in Dallas. That day, I walked into what would end up being my new home for the following 3 years, and also happened to meet some of the women who would end up becoming friends. I walked away from that interview after saying thank you, let me consider, and called back 8 minutes later while still on the road to say, "Actually, sign me up right now, if you're serious about having me."
Further events (which included a very nasty wreck 1/2005), led to moving out of Arlington and into my own apartment in 4/2005.
I was introduced to BTE shortly after arriving to my new residency, and went to my first concert in 2005 in good company.
Which is a small part of how my current position (see above) came to be. However, other current events that got my mind going this AM are also part of a longer road.
Karaoke, something which I'd often been curious about but never tried, happened for the first time in a dive called the Maple Point, again in good company. A love for it took seed, but the smoky atmosphere leads something to be desired, and return visits are infrequent. Thanks to a habit of singing in the halls of the hospital, a reputation/impression is formed by many within its walls, and several mentions of an Irish pub called the Tipperary Inn are made, particularly it's Monday night karaoke. Duly noted, but no action is taken for many months. An introduction to the Tipperary Inn takes place sometime in 2005 under the influence of some hastily consumed Irish car bombs (not a karaoke night), and a few sporadic visits occur over the following year. It isn't until 2007, however, that Monday night karaoke becomes a fairly good place to look for me on any given week, often in good company.
In 2008, we met our future kickball captain on a Monday night that he came in to get a T-shirt from his bartending friend. Thanks to a remote resemblance to his celebrity crush, he makes conversation with me (again, in good company). Later that year, he takes command of the Tipp's team, and we are invited to take part.
So is there a point? Yes. Today's screw ups and actions can have amazing results years afterward. Also, just because we aren't privy to the game plan doesn't mean there isn't one. I have faith in that game plan.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Renouncing humanity
Being human sucks. I think I want to be a dog. A country dog.
I want to have a farm to run around in, I want to howl at the moon without being too big a pain in the ass. I want to sit by my people on a porch when it's a nice night, and to eat the hot dogs and burgers that get burnt or dropped on the ground during cookouts. I want to roughhouse with kids and chase them on their bikes or follow them when they're playing in the fields. I want to ride in the back of pickups. I want to chase rabbits.
Of course, that would mean giving up a lot of good stuff, too. I don't really want to be a dog that bad, but, right at this second, I'm so tired of the drama of being a person, and it's not even my drama.
I want to have a farm to run around in, I want to howl at the moon without being too big a pain in the ass. I want to sit by my people on a porch when it's a nice night, and to eat the hot dogs and burgers that get burnt or dropped on the ground during cookouts. I want to roughhouse with kids and chase them on their bikes or follow them when they're playing in the fields. I want to ride in the back of pickups. I want to chase rabbits.
Of course, that would mean giving up a lot of good stuff, too. I don't really want to be a dog that bad, but, right at this second, I'm so tired of the drama of being a person, and it's not even my drama.
Baffling
Overall, not a bad day. A few peculiarities here and there, some good conversations, a fun game of kickball, a couple of ideas for upcoming karaoke nights mulled over.
In spite of a good day, though, feeling restless. It started while we were at the Rose post game, and just hadn't gone away in spite of a quick jog around the block. Upon arriving home, went for a quick sprint down Ross Ave to the Guadalupe Cathedral, sat in one of the alcoves for a while, then sprinted back. No change. Ran on the treadmill for another mile or so. No change. Really?
I was debating doing some planks vs. heading back out to Ross when the phone rang.
Hanging up the phone after close to an hour, I am perplexed and frustrated. Will shit never stop happening to good people? Why are relationships so fucking hard even for the ones who have made a commitment and kept it?
So I guess that made my decision for me. Back to Ross St.
In spite of a good day, though, feeling restless. It started while we were at the Rose post game, and just hadn't gone away in spite of a quick jog around the block. Upon arriving home, went for a quick sprint down Ross Ave to the Guadalupe Cathedral, sat in one of the alcoves for a while, then sprinted back. No change. Ran on the treadmill for another mile or so. No change. Really?
I was debating doing some planks vs. heading back out to Ross when the phone rang.
Hanging up the phone after close to an hour, I am perplexed and frustrated. Will shit never stop happening to good people? Why are relationships so fucking hard even for the ones who have made a commitment and kept it?
So I guess that made my decision for me. Back to Ross St.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Consulting Death
A long time ago, I wrote an obituary for myself.
It was part of an assignment back in college related to some now forgotten book. As I recall, the purpose of the exercise was to have us consider what we would want to be remembered for by the people in our lives.
I don't have that particular paper anymore, and I'd forgotten about it until tonight. While perusing some random sites, I came across a thought exercise that asked what you would want to be written on your tombstone. What impression do you want to leave? Probably not "They never missed a day of work." Or "They had an awesome car." Not even "They rocked at karaoke."
An interesting question, and useful to sort out what is truly important to each of us. Do I know the answer for myself? No. But I'm working on it.
It was part of an assignment back in college related to some now forgotten book. As I recall, the purpose of the exercise was to have us consider what we would want to be remembered for by the people in our lives.
I don't have that particular paper anymore, and I'd forgotten about it until tonight. While perusing some random sites, I came across a thought exercise that asked what you would want to be written on your tombstone. What impression do you want to leave? Probably not "They never missed a day of work." Or "They had an awesome car." Not even "They rocked at karaoke."
An interesting question, and useful to sort out what is truly important to each of us. Do I know the answer for myself? No. But I'm working on it.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Boys
There are so many things I fail to understand in life that sometimes it's better to just shake my head, shrug my shoulders, and move on to something that doesn't give me a headache. Sometimes those kind of moments make me smile, others make me sad, and some just really piss me off.
Of course, some topics trigger all of the above responses at some time or another. Can you guess one?
Personally, I don't have a lot to complain about, I suppose. I'm usually pretty happy being single, after all, and have learned the truth behind something my mom has said for years: It's better to be alone than to have bad company. (Wise words, Mom, although I like how they sound in Spanish much better.) Relationships I have had with boys run the gamut of excellent friendships that have stood up to the past decade or so of neglect to, of course, that whole dating thing.
Dating. A word I managed to have nothing significant to do with up through my mid 20s, it now keeps popping up. Often fun, frequently a source of annoyance, it's been interesting. Beyond my own experiences, I've had the advantage of a circle of friends that have contributed their own stories, not to mention getting to see things firsthand. And you know? I don't understand. I just don't understand how things end up the way they do.
Growing up, I got to see my brothers' side of the whole dating thing. Granted, I was way too young to fully appreciate most of what went on with the older 2, but I have some recollections from way back when that have lingered. And you know, my brothers aren't perfect, but I do recall that they were honest and didn't screw around with people's feelings. Overall, they are good guys. Granted, their influence on me is at least part of the reason I'm such a screwball, but I digress. They are good guys. They are loyal guys who love their families. They are guys who work hard and believe in honesty. So, they can't be alone out there. Where are the other guys like them?
Of course, some topics trigger all of the above responses at some time or another. Can you guess one?
Personally, I don't have a lot to complain about, I suppose. I'm usually pretty happy being single, after all, and have learned the truth behind something my mom has said for years: It's better to be alone than to have bad company. (Wise words, Mom, although I like how they sound in Spanish much better.) Relationships I have had with boys run the gamut of excellent friendships that have stood up to the past decade or so of neglect to, of course, that whole dating thing.
Dating. A word I managed to have nothing significant to do with up through my mid 20s, it now keeps popping up. Often fun, frequently a source of annoyance, it's been interesting. Beyond my own experiences, I've had the advantage of a circle of friends that have contributed their own stories, not to mention getting to see things firsthand. And you know? I don't understand. I just don't understand how things end up the way they do.
Growing up, I got to see my brothers' side of the whole dating thing. Granted, I was way too young to fully appreciate most of what went on with the older 2, but I have some recollections from way back when that have lingered. And you know, my brothers aren't perfect, but I do recall that they were honest and didn't screw around with people's feelings. Overall, they are good guys. Granted, their influence on me is at least part of the reason I'm such a screwball, but I digress. They are good guys. They are loyal guys who love their families. They are guys who work hard and believe in honesty. So, they can't be alone out there. Where are the other guys like them?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
PMS and night shifts
This week can't end soon enough.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being over-sensitive about really, really ridiculous crap. I'm tired of feeling mean. I'm tired of acting bitchy. It's like being in a nightmare where you can see exactly how everything is about to go to hell and you can't stop it - I feel my mood plummeting, have an "oh, shit, stupidity is about to ensue" moment of clarity, and it happens anyway.
I'm looking forward to karaoke, kickball, good music, good friends, good books, and sufficient sleep. I'm looking forward to spending some time making my apartment livable. I'm looking forward to doing some running. I'm even looking forward to studying. ANYTHING to get back to "no drama" zone.
About 4.5 more hours tonight, and then down to Sunday. Let's kick it.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being over-sensitive about really, really ridiculous crap. I'm tired of feeling mean. I'm tired of acting bitchy. It's like being in a nightmare where you can see exactly how everything is about to go to hell and you can't stop it - I feel my mood plummeting, have an "oh, shit, stupidity is about to ensue" moment of clarity, and it happens anyway.
I'm looking forward to karaoke, kickball, good music, good friends, good books, and sufficient sleep. I'm looking forward to spending some time making my apartment livable. I'm looking forward to doing some running. I'm even looking forward to studying. ANYTHING to get back to "no drama" zone.
About 4.5 more hours tonight, and then down to Sunday. Let's kick it.
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